Acceptance:
So, What happens if we release ourselves from the belief that we control our destiny? What really happens if we get vulnerable enough to just let life lead, rather than trying to mold an image of our “ideal”? What is the outcome of Surrendering To, rather than Manipulating or Creating a definitive for, living?
Well… In January 2011 I thought it would be a compelling “life-experiment” to genuinely exercise a “Yes Man” philosophy. I was inspired by the 2008 Jim Carrey movie which, for me, presented a provocative approach to letting the future happen, rather than forcing upon it an idea of what it “should” be. I decided that ANY opportunity presented would be a new chance for me to say Yes rather than No… and so, I did. For one year I Accepted, I surrendered, and I said “Yes”… to nearly everything. I decided that I had to do it whole hearted with no exceptions to the most minimal of requests. There were definitely unforeseen obstacles to this challenge, as it is simply impossible to be in more than one place at a time, therefore a few sacrifices were inevitable. But, for the majority of my year I took on what was presented, as The Challenge, with open eyes and a…

Side note:
In a lot of ways, I feel, I was born a happy person. When life threatened my optimism there seemed to be a strong grounding force that enabled me to remember the joys, even in times of sorrow, that come with living. Even with an innate inclination to see the positive, rather than negative, I accredit much of this to my parents. Being loved, as a child, really conditioned me to feel empowered in self exploration. Mid 2010 I consciously decided that no amount of financial security gained, in any “job” that wasn’t maximizing my potential, was worth it. So, basically I had already begun a process of relinquishing the fear of “being poor” to the prospect of “gaining happiness”. I knew that unless my energy was being spent in a way that satisfied, fulfilled, or prompted a better me, it would serve me (or the world) no good. So, my 2011 decision to go Yes had no bearing on feeling a depressed sense of my-self. It was strictly a desire to broaden my understanding of happiness and possibly discover new approaches to living out the rest of my time here…
The first six months of my year consisted of: Simultaneously teaching dance and returning to school full time. This was no small task, and at times I felt I might lose my mind, but it was one of the most gratifying things I’ve ever done. Alongside completing 2 semesters with a 4.0, I relished in what seemed like an onslaught of invites. I found myself rallying in parades, attending music festivals, house/dog/baby sitting, making trips to Hawaii, San Francisco, and Arizona- and spending a copious amount of time with my beautiful family. Amidst the chaos of now saying YES to things I fell madly in love with bike riding after accepting an invitation to train and ride across, my hometown, Iowa in Ragbrai 2012. One thing was certain… Money was no longer a determinant, or hindrance, to my happiness. I didn’t have a lot of it, but what I did have was taking me to beautiful places!

Windows were being smashed and doors were being busted down as I learned the art of habitual acceptance. I couldn’t remember a time when I was invited to more “gatherings”, dinners, events, or occasions in my life. It seemed like I was never not doing something. The truth was that I had been given those opportunities before but, my normal self would have declined nearly 75% of those chances, to share with others, out of the joy I found in being alone. Because I was now saying Yes, I was finding myself ABLE to relate to more people, as well as relearning to enjoy the company of others. This was an important step in rebuilding a relationship of trust with the outside world. For many years I have built sturdy walls (of distrust) to protect myself from getting hurt by others. Only now can I see how limiting this is and how much more rewarding it is to embrace difference and find commonality in sharing the beauty of life, Together.

To be quite frank, there came a point mid year, where I wondered if I would be able to handle the true task of being a “Yes Man”. At times it was exhausting but, I was finding myself in a happy place. In retrospect, the “people filled” early portion of my year perfectly contrasted the solitude I found in the later part of 2011. It was becoming clear to me that my ability to accept what was offered, and embrace the people I came into contact with, was influencing the direction of my tomorrows. In April, I was given an opportunity to volunteer in Bali, by a professor I met fulfilling a GE requirement during winter session. It was the perfect chance to put the “Yes” into action. My bank account said “Hell No” but, my heart said “Yes”. And, through the generosity of others I departed on July 30th, headed to South East Asia, on a journey that would forever change my life.
When I decided to leave the country I thought I would be returning a month later with another epic travel story. This couldn’t be farther from what actually happened. As I boarded the plane I had a distinct premonition that this “Trip” was going to Guide me rather than the other way around… and it absolutely did. I was offered a place to volunteer in Thailand for the 3 months in September, traveled up and down that country, and then returned to Bali after presented with an extended opportunity to return in late November. Leaving the country was a choice, but staying abroad has been more like a “happening”. Financial support was offered to me before my departure and since then, I’ve been living on land and eating that which has been lovingly offered- in exchange for volunteering my time and energy- and saying Yes!
What the “Yes” taught me:
For almost half a year I’ve come to terms with what it actually means to say “Yes” in a very intense way. And, i recognize, it is very different than the “Yes” i was spouting early on in this experiment. It is one thing to oblige an offer, it is another drastically different thing to shed all contemplation in saying “No”. The options many of us have been granted are an endless blessing but, it is more about how we have decided to negate the simple acknowledgment of having these choices that seems to have led us astray. If the world around us doesn’t allow any option to say “No” then we are left with one alternative… a big fat, positive, YES! To Everything… and so, I have not returned to America because I’ve been extended an opportunity to stay until March. And, I figure… It would be entirely counterproductive to go an entire year with a yes motto and then, in the final moments of 2011, respond by saying No. So, here is where I shall stay for now.
Much of what has been gained is due to my exposure and absorption of these other cultures. Amongst many things, the way I define poverty has been altered and it has only been by immersing myself in, what people from developed nations would consider, “impoverished” areas that I began to reanalyze. The clear difference in way of life is everywhere. What these people make, in wages, they earn through manual labor. But, they do so with smiling faces. When I asked a local worker how they maintain such positive spirits here he said… “We are all the same”. And then it made sense how people who work this hard can be so generous, kind, and giving by nature. They embody Namaste. And their smiles exude its meaning: “I salute or recognize your presence or existence in society and the universe.” Because they live by a moral code, that views others as reflections of themselves, happiness is harnessed through, with, and in each other. This monumental display of empathy epitomizes understanding and transcends the scope of Love. Having been given the chance to simply live, and breath the same air, as people who think like this has expanded my perception of… Everything!
In a brilliant way this year long experience/experiment has not molded a new person out of me. It, instead, has drawn me closer to understanding the root of the original person, I was, that felt compelled to say Yes. The entire experience proves to have been more of a “process” rather than a singular revelation. It showed me that accepting life, as it perfectly reveals itself, is really the most efficient way to the most happiness. It was important for me to learn how to find balance in welcoming and guiding my direction. It taught me how to prioritize that which was bringing joy to my life, by removing that which was mere distraction. Every grasped moment altered, in some way, my interpretation of how I function in this world. As I grew one year older I simply got more educated as to how I react to the world around me.
Ironically, the Yes Philosophy has instigated me to say No Thank you to “aging” in its commonly held translation. This new concept of “age” radically enabled me to reject the fear that instinctively comes with “getting older”. I am dissolving hesitation by adhering to a belief that there is no singular time frame, in our existence, that deems us more (or less) appropriate to do any (and all) things we feel inspired to pursue. There is a distinct difference between living rationally out of assimilated knowledge, and allowing a number to dictate what can be accomplish. By removing from my imagination the amount of candles I perceived, as currently residing on my invisible Birthday Cake, it has enabled me a new sense of growing younger. And the lesson I’ve learned is that … In order for me to be the happiest person I can be, for the rest of my days, it is not about learning how to be “more of an adult” in comfort but, in re-remembering how to be a child again by getting uncomfortable. And so, that is what I am choosing to do by Re- discovering this world with childlike eyes.
Redefining the word LOVE:
As children we are taught the basic structure of nearly everything… Most of this we never need, or use. However, somehow we never gain understanding on what love, something that permeates every ounce of us, really means. Because our society has skipped out on articulating this valuable principle- we have been left to figure it out on our own. Because of this, we have been left bewildered with regards to a prime necessity to attaining collective, and individual, happiness…. Love- A thing that absolutely Must flow in and out of self, as much as it moves through, and with other people.
When we let the magnitude of love, we openly give and receive, to be dominated by the way we were “raised” we allocate too much power in a thing of the past. When we place blame on others for “becoming” this way, we are really rejecting the essence of unconditional love. When we consume ourselves in a feeling of being love-deprived, we remain in a subtle state of lacking. Over time this manifests itself in our own inability to accept the people around us for everything they are (or were) able, or unable, to provide. It is when we choose to see people as something outside of their real self that we sense a feeling of undernourishment. And until we get a clearer understanding of what it means to love, and be loved in return, we will continue to search. It commonly begins with the way we perceive, blame, or judge our parents. Early on we forget their true nature as human beings, just as capable of making mistakes, and rather place them as figments of some fallacious reality. If you were not given the love you felt you required, as a child, then harness it in adulthood by expressing more of it to the people around you. We have to resist placing expectancy on others to fill voids we feel they should be fulfilling.
Real Love is UNCONDITIONAL… it accepts the reality of flawed human qualities. It is important to diagnose our inclination to insist people be in our lives the way we feel most suitable by requiring a certain “kind of love”, from them, who it may feel unfamiliar. Furthermore, there is an infinite amount of love. When we start identifying the genuine roles, that specific people are able to play in our lives, we can embrace their love as unspecified and find that it encompasses everything we need to sustain our craving for connection. Unconditional Love, of self and for others, is a process of discovering a balance between forgiving and embracing the true nature of our existence.
We All have a “Story”:
No matter where you came from, or where you thought you would be “by now”, one thing is obvious…where you are headed is dominated strictly by the compass you allow yourself to follow TODAY. If it is one of imagination, creativity, individualism, strength, love, and happiness… the road can only lead to a greater acquisition of those things. If we are propelled by, the prospect or accumulation of more, material possessions, money, ego, or approval… we remain on a road of perpetual “wanting”. In this case, contentment is unattainable and the feeling of True happiness diminished. It is within grasp to take responsibility for our current state of happiness. Because, ultimately we are the masters of our emotions. We govern our today. And, only we can claim merit in being truly happy. Everyday we cultivate the nature of the path we are on and, the journey it encompasses is dominated by the true intentions of what we seek to find along the way…
So, if we find ourselves unhappy in the lives we are living, we have to do something about that. If we find ourselves surrounded by people we don’t feel bring joy to our lives than we have to reevaluate what it is we are looking for in other people. If we find ourselves in relationships clouded by too much, or not enough, love… we have to go and find that ideal balance. If we are stuck in a job that does not allow us to express, or studying a subject that doesn’t ignite our senses …. we have to find the things that do. The world needs us to be happy, and the only way to get there is to LET GO of expectations we feel have been placed on us, and be content with how WE define HAPPINESS. Above all else… we must be patient with ourselves. Growing is something that comes to us. So, we must not attempt to fast forward through our lives. In order to fully embrace the process of evolving (in our own time) we must negate comparing our progress to anyone else. How we nurture our inner self is the only thing that will ever truly bring us the satisfaction of a life well lived and real comprehension of “happy”.
Projections and Judgement:
There simply is no existence of: “right and wrong” or “yes and no”. There never has been, and never will be only two options for living. However, we have been fostered into accepting this misconception from conception. I was very much intrigued by the Thai language which has no word for “No”. Instead, they use two words, Mai Chai which mean “Not Yes”. I find this even more interesting when thinking about children. America thrives on condemning its kids to a life of “No”. It instills, in us, an early sense of fear with regards to just about everything. If a child is living fearful of a world that constantly says “No”, won’t that inevitably breed a teenager that experiences less of the qualities associated with feeling “Yes”? And if that teen then grows up to be an adult that understands only a “Right or Wrong” approach to life… won’t that person tend to be overtly consumed in judgement? A judgement that penetrates self love and permeates the root of self worth. It is overtly clear how this cyclical misconstruction could have stifling effects on the building of healthy self esteem.
It is not a versus game. There is no necessity in the “me against the world” mentality. We’ve got to reconcile difference to see clearly that we are all made of the same stuff… and once we feel the synergy of togetherness we can embrace our uniqueness to its fullest. It is all about transcending the limitations of thinking we exist in singularity to become part of a collective happiness. Because, then how the world views us will reach beyond “caring” what other people think. It can become a philosophy for living. When we accept the fact that our “image” is genuinely reflected by our actions, then we start acting in the best interest of projecting the image we wish to be perceived.
There is a reason the world views us in certain ways. Whether fond or not…the things that people notice, in us, are the things that shine blatantly in their faces. If you are filled with love, people feel that love. If you project insecurity, insecure is what you become, and the rest of the world will feel that as well. There is just no other, way to be, than just You. So, if you aren’t content with the person you are, at this time, get comfortable and find any means necessary to do so. Take incentive to fall in love with yourself. Because, once you do, it will change your life and this world will be better because of it.
Releasing the Fear:
Be fearful no more. Do not allow other people to have authority over the amount of joy you are able to receive at any given moment. Happiness is self prescribed. The most important thing we can do for ourselves is live a life that is true to our individual nature. If we seek a happiness that exists as the invention of another person than We will Always be left feeling hollow. When we admit that our life should reflect our OWN desire, our OWN need to express, and complete our OWN need to be whole…. we will find our OWN personal fulfillment. This is the only way to be free.
Liberate the Inner Child:
We ought to be utilizing media as a tool for sharing True self expression… anything else is just means to feed a hungry ego. The following video is an expression of unconditional self love. It is also an illustration of acknowledgment and acceptance for the people I share this world with. It is strictly meant for the purpose of self liberation and in no way reflects a desire for adoration. It is not a matter of Courage but, rather, a matter of releasing the very notion that while we are here we have to be something we are not.
It is dedicated to every child, over the last decade, I have ever taught a dance, choreographed a musical number for, or was paid to make move the way other people thought they “should”. In the process of freeing myself, I post this as an attempt to instigate some other viewer a chance to recognize their own freedom. I choose no longer to give criticism, judgement, and scrutiny the power to dictate my idea of “self”. The only reason we ever decided to stop being true to the people we are inside, was based on fear of what the outside world would think. It is not about being oblivious to personal weakness but, instead recognizing strength. This is a matter of reevaluating that which is important to us. Be aware of the tendency to judge and simply release the burden of giving, or receiving, approval. Only you can validate yourself with a clear and sober mind. Reject escapism and learn to love yourself by enjoying life without the need to be: constantly entertained, under the influence, or given permission by “someone else”. No one but you can be the spark that sets you free.
So, to all of my students, I say… The world wants you just the way you are! Express Yourselves. Express your Mind, Express your Art, Express your Desire, Express your Happiness, Express your Dis-Comfort or Dis-Ease, Express it ALL! And do it without restraint. And, in a manner that suits the interest of your personal expression. Forget “Dance like no one is watching”, LIVE like no one is Watching. Because, Letting Go is all you need to do to find the life you always wanted to live. Don’t march to the beat of another drum… Create your very own rhythm. And once you do…be proud of it, HEAR IT, And then… dance, in bliss, like you don’t care if the the whole world watches…
To my Family, The Beginning of My Beginning…
As I sought to expand, the me I knew, I discovered the requisite in having a solid system for support. And so, To my family…Every bit of happiness I feel, every moment of beauty expressed, or day that has passed in the last 5 months… has brought me closer to discovering the love i hold for you. It is beyond human comprehension how deeply my soul is moved by what is ours, this thing we call “A Family”…words do it no justice. Thank you for enveloping me in a world of Trust, Laughter, Love, and Humility. You were the instigators of all the beauty I’ve ever known, you were the bud of the first flower of love ever planted in my heart, and you were the ones who allowed me to ignite the fire in these eyes, that burns brightly, at a life I am so absolutely proud to call mine. The 3 of you have been the greatest “experiences of my life”… thank you.
Dear 2011,
I am indebted to this year for showing me my-self. I am grateful for all that was seen, experienced, and shared. Never have I felt so utterly blessed to be me, and surrounded by such love. I welcome the new year with a humbled heart and open mind…
With Love,
Gina




























































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